25 November 2010 15:34
Seattle, WA – “Brothers & Sisters… To silence our egos, we press the mute button and call upon the Light to speak on our behalf, especially on this occasion of Thanksgiving, so that our every word elevates our collective soul and all existence, as we gather together with grateful hearts to sing our appreciations for all the universe has given us… the passions that ignite our spirits, the challenges that have spurred our growth, the opportunities before us and the communities of family and friends that feed our souls through it all… And as we meditate upon our personal blessings, we offer our thanks to Mother Earth for nurturing our journey and Father Time for granting the cycles that give us perspective and hope… May we embrace each other as Family, with open hearts and minds, through this dinner, this holiday season and the year to come in Love and Light… Amen.” ~ Tony Buff as Chaplain for the Dragon Clan this day of Thanksgiving
4 May 2010 8:59
Seattle, WA – When I met my boy Derek da Silva nearly four years ago at my first Inferno in 2006, our connection was immediate and our relationship grew with a passion that was rare and unexpected. I collared Derek in May of 2007 on the set of our first ‘art film’ together, Soldiers of Misfortune, and we began our long distance, D/s relationship as Sir and boy. I can’t help but smile when I look back upon that time and remember our adolescent-like enthusiasm and unbridled Sadomasochistic fervor. Derek introduced me to a new cadre of fetish/Sm players at the national and international levels, in addition to a niche market for ‘this thing of ours’ within the adult film industry. In turn, I introduced Derek to my community of family and friends, primarily stationed in my Pacific Northwest home, and partnered with him on a variety of activities that kept us traveling across the North American continent performing, teaching, playing and serving as advocates for respect and responsibility. Our relationship played out on stage, across the screen, in print, over the internet and under the scrutiny of the public eye. It seemed a natural extension of our activism and sense of adventure. Read the rest of this entry »
10 April 2010 9:38
Detroit, MI – My boy Derek da Silva and I are in Detroit, MI this weekend for the Leather Leadership Conference (LLC). The Leather Leadership Conference is an organization dedicated to strengthening the BDSM/Leather/Fetish/Kink community by providing the stepping stones of learning and knowledge to assist in the development of the leadership skills of community members. Their goal is to aid in the growth and success of organizations and community groups through the development of these skills by providing access to leadership information and topics. By strengthening the leaders in our community they hope to facilitate a greater sense of connection between and within community groups. Derek and I are here this year to facilitate a presentation and guided discussion entitled Building Communities that Feed Your Soul. Read the rest of this entry »
3 March 2010 0:26
Palm Springs, CA – A very interesting thread hit my inbox a couple weeks ago from the GLPW mailing list. What apparently began as a question regarding Sashes became a discussion about titleholders, and I was called out by my brother Gene Romaine (pictured right on the left at the most recent Gear Night at the Cuff courtesy of Graves). Yes, it’s true, I am a Leather titleholder. I served my local community as Washington State Mr Leather in 2002. And yes, I wore the Sash that came with that title on exactly three occasions; the night of the contest when I stepped up, the day I marched in the Seattle Pride parade with the Leather contingent, and, finally at the contest a year later when I stepped down. Truth is I don’t really like sashes; I find them so pretentious. My title vest, however, I have worn with pride on countless occasions. Even now, eight years later, around this time in March, my title vest comes off the heavy plastic hanger in the closet and put back on my back. Read the rest of this entry »
22 July 2009 19:08
Seattle, WA – Family is important. It can provide a sense of belonging, support and love. Regardless of the relationship we may have with our biological families, for many queers like me, it is our families of choice that provide the foundations of our lives. This is, in my experience, especially true for my fellow kinksters, gender queers and those of us who express radically alternative sexual identities. While I have been witness to a few notable exceptions, for the most part, our queer identities were too much for our biological families to handle… their love was almost always conditional. They could love us so long as we didn’t turn into some faggot or dyke. They could still love us, while hating the sin, so long as we didn’t tell anyone, especially other members of the family who would never understand our dirty little secret. Father time and mother nature help you if you blurred your gender or got caught tying the neighbor kid to a tree and pissing on him a little, ’cause that would require professional help. By the time we became adults, we either learned to censor what we shared with the bios or we were censured by them. For me, the latter finally came when I was shooting my first, dirty little movie. I never really was one to accept conditions being placed on who I am. Read the rest of this entry »
24 March 2009 19:08
Seattle, WA –- What a fucking week! I am completely spent but it was all well worth the effort and rewarding on so many levels. For me, Washington State Leather Pride week is about Clan, Family, Service and Play. Each year since 2002, this week in my local community has been marked by transforming experiences.
In 2002, I began my title year as Washington State Mr Leather and then stepped down in 2003 as my brother Mark Nunley stepped up. In 2004 I watched my brother Gene step up as Washington State Mr Leather and received a Leather Emblem Award for my service to the community. In 2005 I was asked to join WSMLO’s Board of Directors. In 2006 I began producing the contest that serves as the anchor event of the week’s festivities. In 2007, I got to share my family and local community with Derek for the first time. In 2008, Derek was with me again, only this time as my collared boy, and I was sainted by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Or was that in 2007? I digress.
This year was no exception. Over the course of the past year, the Dragon Clan has grown to ten Brothers and Sisters. Eight of them were on-hand in Seattle this week including Brothers Gene Romaine, Odie Heaston, Mark Nunley, Hugh, myself and Sisters Panther, Mercea and Lynnda Hale. The only two missing, and missed, were Brothers Tristan Steel and Mark Bozif.
My own family has grown to four with three collared boys (photo above). Granted one is a collar of consideration, but I’m already beginning to consider Blueeyes part of the family. This was the first opportunity the three boys have had to meet each other in person. While the pace of events through the week and the sheer demand on everyone’s efforts prevented the kind of bonding I would have hoped for, I realize that will come over time. Three things are totally clear however; these are great boys, they already care for one another deeply and a sense of family has developed.
Of course, I ended up throwing yet another variable into the mix. Last week I invited Element (photo left), a boy I meet in Portland over Sash Bash, to come up and visit me. We had planned for him to stay Tuesday and Wednesday but something special happened so I asked him to stay through the weekend. Element is a beautiful and kinky 22 year old boy who has never really experienced what I had introduced him to during our short time together and he was acting very much like an orphan that had finally found a home. I couldn’t send him home without offering him a glimpse at the community that feeds my soul. He stayed and, much like Derek two years ago, witnessed why I call Seattle, the Pacific Northwest and our leather/Sm community home. He and Derek definitely bonded over the weekend… kindred spirits I think.
I had all four boys in tow for the contest on Saturday and a cast of volunteers that help the event go off without a hitch. And part of that going off without a hitch was the presentation of a National Leather Emblem Award to my boy Derek for his service to our community in Washington State, without him knowing about it before hand. For the record, I had nothing to do with the nomination, recused myself from the debate and abstained from the vote. You earned it all on your own, boy, and join the ranks of some pretty impressive past recipients. Congratulations.
I want to thank our judges for the 2009 Washington State Mr|Ms Leather competition: Linda Coomas, our Head Judge; International Bootblack 1996 Todd; Washington State Mr & Ms Leather 2007 Gylan and Candy; and Seattle’s own Bootblack Boris. I want to extend my deepest appreciation to the many volunteers including: our emcees, Ronda & Lynnda; volunteer ASL Interpreters Joel & David; Judges’ Runner Paka; Judges’ Tallies Dawn & Jeremy; Contestant Coordinator Panther; Doormen Tom & Percy; Stage Manager Odie; and our crew of boys Derek, Josh, Tim, Danny and Element.
My congratulations go out to Toby Noon and Lamalani who served outstanding years as Washington State Mr & Ms Leather 2008. My thanks and best wishes go with both of them as Toby continues his service in our local community as President of Seattle Men in Leather and Lamalani as she steps up as the new d’IMsL (inside joke… my bad).
Please join me in welcoming our new 2009 Washington State Mr & Ms Leather Doug & Angie, and in thanking our first runner-up for the Mr title, Jim, for putting himself in the running and for all the work he continues to put in for the community.
Of course, none of this would be possible without the support of our sponsors, Miller Brewing and Columbia Distributing Company; or our host bar, the Cuff Complex and its staff. Thanks guys.
15 March 2009 15:52
Vancouver, BC –- Now that my boy Chris is back in the fold, I figured it was time to head up to Vancouver and check out the scene. It had been several years since I was last back in this beautiful city and I’ve been reminded of how much I enjoy my time here. Chris is an amazing boy and finds a surprising amount of joy in making me feel comfortable and relaxed. And the leather/Sm community here, while not as large or cohesive as the one I experienced in Toronto, is just as friendly and welcoming.
Chris is also quite an activist and organizer, although he prefers to work well behind the scenes and rarely takes the stage. While chatting with folks in the area he discovered there was some interest in having me perform a demo during my visit. Because he knows how much pleasure I get from sharing my passion for rope bondage with people, Chris worked to pull together an event to make it happen. He worked with the guys at the Pumpjack Pub, Vancouver’s local leather/Levi bar, to secure the venue and we were rolling. We contacted our friends at Priape and they agreed to add a $50 gift certificate and a bunch of jockstraps to the GayVN nominated DVDs (Home Invasion and Folsom Undercover) I brought up to auction off, and we had a fundraiser last night.
We did the demo in two sets. For the first set, I pulled three boys from the audience (including my own) and performed some floor rigging. We did the quick arm binder that I’m so fond of, the fast upper body harness and a straight arm binder. I love fast rope work. It helps remove the stigma rope bondage has of being slow, tedious and too complicated. It also gives me a great opportunity to talk about safety and risk mitigation. The second set included a partial/full suspension scene with one of the exceptionally sexy bartenders at the Pumpjack. Glenn was a good sport and tremendous fun to play with on stage and off. There was a wonderful exchange of energy between us the entire night. He had never been in suspension before, so I rigged a partial suspension scene with him for the audience of patrons.
Side Bar: Glenn has one of those body types that I just lust over; masculine, fit and athletic but not overly ripped. You could tell he takes care of himself more like the guys I would hang with in the Corps than the circuit queens all strung out on drugs. He is simply beautiful.
The partial suspension was created using an upper body harness with support line and simple ankle cuff from a single point. Glenn responded to the rigging in exactly the way that demonstrates why I love this minimal introduction to suspension scenes. He tested himself in the rope, then kicked up his leg and crossed his free foot over the one bond in the rigging creating a full suspension… just like I did the first time I was introduced to suspension as a bottom. You can always identify potential in a rope bondage bottom if this is their reaction.
After the second set, we auctioned off the DVDs and Priape Gift Certificate. All of the proceeds went to benefit the GLBT Centre Vancouver‘s Bute Street Clinic. My personal thanks go out to Titan Media for providing the DVDs and to the folks at Priape for stepping up.
Throughout the evening I got the chance to connect with old friends, meet new friends into rigging and make contacts that might lead to some teaching opportunities in the future. Thanks for making all that happen, boy. I had a blast.
In closing, I want to thank the Pumpjack. The space was excellent and the staff, especially Chad the Assistant Manager who made the night run so smoothly, was great. If you guys ever want to do something similar, just ask and I’m on board.
8 March 2009 13:02
Portland, OR –- Sorry folks, no images with this post even though I was lit on fire during the show. This past weekend I’ve been down to Portland for this year’s Northwest Sash Bash. I was invited down to serve as the celebrity auctioneer for the big show last night at Ember’s. The show was spectacular with live singing, a fire dancer and a truly brutal performance from my sister in the Dragon Clan, Lynnda, and members of her family in Portland that included real blood. Yeah, we love blood.
I got a special treat toward the end of the show yesterday evening. When the fire dancer came out for his second performance, he tried to pull a volunteer out from the audience. When I notice he wasn’t having any luck, I volunteered. I pulled off my bar vest and surrendered to the flames. Yeah, we love fire, too.
Proceeds from the event this year, which I think from my calculations raised well over a thousand dollars, will go to benefit Esther’s Pantry. For over eighteen years Esther’s has provided food and personal care items to thousands of people diagnosed with HIV/AIDS. In these tough economic times, the services offered by organizations like Esther’s Pantry are critical to many people dealing with the additional challenges of living with HIV/AIDS. Now, like in other difficult times, the efforts of our community to support these services with funds generated at events like Sash Bash are a credit to the character of our community. I was happy to play a part in those efforts and commend all the hard work the dedicated individuals down in Portland put in to organized and pull off the weekend full of events.
3 March 2009 13:02
Seattle, WA –- Two of my boys were here in Seattle when I came home from San Francisco. Chris from Vancouver and my local boy Blueeyes have been getting along really well. The two of them seem to be bonding on a pretty deep level. Chris has always been rather quiet and reserved. I’ve been delighted to see how quickly he has opened up and become attached to his new little brother. Blueeyes seems to be reveling in the prospects of joining the family. I think on one level he’s found something that he didn’t realize he was looking for in his relationship with me. Becoming part of something even larger than that and finding relationships with Chris and Derek as well, I’m sure has come as a pleasant surprise even if it does mean coming to grips with concepts like polyamory and a new ‘family dynamic.’
Side Bar: Since the initial period of consideration has passed, I extended the offer of my collar to Blueeyes for another three months and he accepted. We should have a fairly good understanding of how things should progress at the end of this extension.
It has been truly wonderful to witness the camaraderie that has developed among the boys. Even though Derek hasn’t met either Chris or Blueeyes in person yet, the sense of ‘famiglia’ is still present thanks to things like video conferencing and the deep respect both the younger boys feel toward their big brother. I can’t wait until the end of the month when I’ll have all three boys with me for the Washington State Leather Pride weekend.
3 February 2009 13:25
Seattle, WA –- It was like that when I met Derek. The first time I saw him walking past registration at Inferno XXXV I knew I had to pursue him. The first time we played I knew we shared something special. And the first time he came to visit me in Seattle I knew he’d be my boy. I had no idea just how deep our relationship would become or the amount of growth it would foster in both of us, but I knew my life wouldn’t be the same again. I’m pretty sure Derek would be the first to admit that when he accepted my collar back in May of 2007 he didn’t really know what all it entailed but I can say it has become everything I could have hoped for in a D/s relationship.
Five years before collaring Derek I had collared another boy, Chris. He was my first. I knew then, too. I knew the connection I had with that boy would last a lifetime. Even when he asked to be un-collared and released four years ago, I knew it wasn’t over. Perhaps it was a stubborn refusal not to accept the fact that he was no longer part of my life or the undeniable feelings that remained with me through each day of those four years he spent on his own journey, but I knew our paths would eventually cross again. As I wrote back in December, Chris (see Shin Aleph Hey) did come back into my life. We spent some of the holidays together and while I would like to phrase what has happened as a rekindling of the passion we had shared, it has been more like a return to something that was never really lost. It has been as though the past four years was little more than brief period of absence. On Sunday Chris asked if I would ever consider collaring him again. I told him the collar was his for the asking and it was once again locked around his neck shortly after. My Vancouver boy is back in the fold.
And it seems I might have finally found myself a boy here in Seattle, too. After more than a year of searching for a local boy and nearly giving up on the prospect, I met Tim (see Blueeyes). We’ve had several play sessions and have spent even more time talking. Through this time together I have become convinced that my premonition about this relationship developing quickly and while I continue to be cautious, it has become clear it’s worth pursuing. On the same day I re-collared Chris, I offered a collar of consideration to Tim. We are now at the beginning of a one month trial period that may extend through a second and provide an opportunity for all three of the boys to spend some time together during Washington Leather Pride Week.
I doubt I have to tell you how much I’m looking forward to that occasion. I’m certain the play party that weekend will be a fuck load of fun.