13 October 2008 10:41
San Francisco, CA –- Enough with all the serious stuff. The weekend hasn’t been all work and no play. As I mentioned in my previous posts, Derek was in from Chicago and we had a lot of fun together. We didn’t have any major scenes but the kind of sustained play throughout the weekend that events like this and the city of San Francisco allows for.
While we were out Saturday night, we met an adorable Puerto Rican boy named Rico. Rico was a blast to play with. I did a little rope work then Derek and I took turns choking the boy out at the bar. Rico had never had it done to him before and totally loved it. When he came to after the first time, he was a giddy as a little boy with a new toy… so cute. Turns out, Rico is quite an experienced player, too. He’s even done work for Kink.com for the Men in Pain series.
You can imagine my pleasant surprise when I ran into Rico again last night after Derek flew back to Chicago. I had no problem picking up with Rico where we left of the night before (pictures above and left).
Yes, those are bite marks on and an anal hook shoved up his ass. We played well into the morning and I enjoyed every minute. I’m hoping to reconnect with Rico sometime soon in the future. Perhaps I’ll be able to talk him into being a scene partner in an upcoming ‘art film’.
Tags: Art Films, BDSM, Boys, ILSb
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12 October 2008 11:26
San Francisco, CA –- Sometimes I question why we do the things we do. In relation to the leather/Sm community I most often question why we do title contests. You’d think I’d question why we engage in the type of play we do, but no. I’m intellectually satisfied by my understanding of those motivations. What I question is the return on the investment we make in titles and title contests.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I must admit my involvement in the title circuit is extensive. That involvement stems back only six years to 2002 when I competed for and won Washington State Mr Leather, but has expanded quickly. I now serve on the board of the Washington State Mr|Ms Leather Organization (WSMLO) and produce that contest in addition to serving on the board of Generic Leather Productions of Washington which produces the Northwest Leather Sir/boy and Community Bootblack contest. I have emceed, auctioneered, presented, performed and judged at a various local, regional and international title contest events around the country.
I know it sounds like I’m pretty committed to these events but I will be the first to admit they can be quite ridiculous… well maybe not the first. I know producing any one of these contests is a tremendous endeavor requiring the efforts of many volunteers. I wonder about the impact these events have on those that attend and compete; not to mention why the results of these contests can at times elevate individuals that make such pathetic title holders. I ask myself if these are a better approach or alternative to every aspect of the process. I can’t help but ask if all this effort provides any value add to the community we are trying to serve.
As I attend the International Leather Sir/boy and International Community Bootblack (ILSb & ICBB) contest in the auspicious position of serving as a judge for the competition I am reminded of all these questions and taken back to the time I stood on the other side of the long table before a similar panel of judges.
After the death of my military/Sm family in southern California, I moved to Seattle. Approaching and breaking into the scene back then was no easy task. I was reluctant to form any close bonds after losing so many and know I wasn’t the only one that felt that way in the early ’90s. The fact I was a skinny, little twink with a cocky attitude, impulsive nature and residual anger management issues didn’t help much either.
Then I went away for a while. By the time I got back out and into the scene again five years later, few viewed me as little more than some circuit boy. It took entering a leather title contest to connect with the people I could trust enough to expand my Sm experience. Running for and serving as Washington State Mr Leather in 2002 was the catalyst that gave me the chance to grow into my current role as an activist in our community. For better or worse, it thrust me into a leadership role, but also exposed me to leaders that set the example to emulate.
Now I’m not suggesting that my experience is common. Of all those who enter a title contest only one emerges with that title and the impact of the experience will be as unique as each individual’s efforts. Regardless of the outcome, every contestant that steps up can find personal growth through the experience and a sense of accomplishment by taking the challenge. For those with a social agenda, the time on stage and the possibility of a title year can provide an excellent platform. For those with leadership potential, it can open up resources to help mentor and groom that potential.
I’ll add that many of these benefits are not limited to contestants and title holders. Contests and the activities associated with these events provide ample opportunities for the members of our community to come together. Whether a spectator or volunteer the bonds that can be created at these events can last a lifetime.
Are title contests the only means to theses ends? No, there are regional events like CLAW and leather/Sm runs like Inferno and Boot Camp that draw players from around the world in a spirit of camaraderie. In many ways I find these non-contest events preferable to those involving sashes, but there is still something of value to titles. We have a long tradition of leadership and community activism associated with leather titles. From local and regional contests through international titles, the organizations and individuals involved have worked to elevate social consciousness on issues affecting our communities like AIDS and drug addiction. They have sponsored and presented opportunities to expand our BDSM skills and knowledge. They’ve raised funds for non-profits serving those of us most in need. They have helped us morn our dead and cultivate new generations of leaders. They are a source of history and cohesion.
I am confident that these traditions will continue with the current International Leather Sir/boy and Community Bootblack title holders (pictured right). Please join me in congratulating and welcoming International Leatherboy 2008, Bill Hoeppner from Florida; International LeatherSIR 2008, Raul Mendez from Florida; and International Community Bootblack 2008, Black-Jack Pearce of Toronto, Canada. When I was asked to judge the ILSb & ICBB competition I came to the panel with one goal, to witness real players emerge with the titles. I didn’t care if they were novice or experienced players so long as they were honest and responsible players. There is no doubt in my mind that these three men meet that criterion. Mark Frazier, Randal Kinnear and their crew did an amazing job producing this year’s competition and I am very pleased by both the move to San Francisco and the renewed focus on making these, the players’ titles. I also want to thank Titan Media for stepping up as a sponsor for the contest. I’m proud to be associated with a studio that actually invests back into the community.
Tags: Art Films, BDSM, Boys, ILSb, Service, Titan Media
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11 October 2008 17:27
San Francisco, CA –- There is something special about the Sir/boy relationship. I am specifically reminded of this fact this weekend because I am in San Francisco to judge the International Leather Sir/boy and International Community Bootblack contest. And, of course it doesn’t hurt that my boy Derek (photo right courtesy of Rich Trove) has joined me from Chicago for the weekend.
There are many archetypical Dom/sub relationships in the leather/Sm scene. In the men’s community the most common I witness are Sir/boy, Daddy/boy and Master/slave relationships. In truth the nature of these relationships are as varied as the individuals involved in them, but I have come to recognize some generalizations common to those who self identify as being part of these relationships and my experience in two of the three.
To be honest, I have no experience in a Master/slave relationship and the concept seems contrived to me. Perhaps this is because I’m ethically opposed to the prospect of one human being owning another, the fact that it is now illegal in most of the civilized world or my inability to (in)voluntarily submit in such a manner has left me lacking an understanding. So, I’ve opened myself to learning more about this type of relationship from those who have experienced it and will not comment on it further here until I can write more intelligently about it.
I do however have some experience within the Daddy/boy relationship, most recently as one of Dave Lewis’ boys before he died several years ago. In many ways my brothers in the Dragon Clan who were collared or given a medallion by Dave still feel in service to him and will always know him as Daddy. Each of us have grown from his guidance, learned through our play with him and been grateful for his presence in our lives.
The hallmark of the Daddy/boy relationship, in my experience has been mentorship. As a boy, Daddy for me was an elder, wiser, more experienced and capable man. He was the patriarch of the family. He was the one we turned to for advice, counsel, comfort and support. Daddy was the one that taught us about community starting with the family as a foundation. For all these reasons I have a deep respect for the Daddy/boy relationship. I have been a good, if perhaps mischievous boy in my time and trust I will, in time become a Daddy in my own right some day.
I have far more experience within the Sir/boy construct of the D/s relationship. When I earned my collar nearly twenty years ago (have I really been doing this thing of ours that long?), it was in this type of relationship. It wasn’t my collar at first of course. It belonged to a man I respected and trusted enough to place myself in his charge. He wasn’t my Daddy; more like an uncle or senior officer, which stands to reason. Ours was more a military/Sm family than a leather/Sm family. All of the immediate and most of the extended family were either prior service or currently serving in the Navy or Marines.
Our common experience in the service carried over to our family dynamic. Doms were like commanding officers, alpha boys were like Staff NCOs and I took my place as the ‘newbie’ learning as much as I could about this new world of Sm.
While I will not go into all the details here (the ravages of AIDS in the late ’80s and early ’90s tore many loved ones from those of us who lived through those years), but when Uncle Mike passed on, the collar was left with me.
It took ten years for me to transition from that orphaned boy with a collar in his hands to the one with the skills and confidence to top my own scenes. It would be five more years and almost as many boys before I found the boy who now wears that collar.
There’s no doubt, Derek is mine. We are clearly in a Dom/sub relationship, but what is the nature of that relationship? Some have suggested we are Master/slave. This isn’t accurate. I would not be so presumptuous as to call myself Master and Derek is a man in his own right with a voice in even our relationship. Am I the Daddy? Perhaps I am to some boys just coming out into the scene but not to this boy. Derek is in fact older than I and in many ways more experienced in the leather/Sm scene.
To me, the term Sir is more a salutation than a title. There is about as much chance of me becoming a Leather Sir title holder as there is being knighted by the Queen Mother. Again, I fall back upon my military and early Sm experience. When you hear me call someone Sir it emanates from an interpersonal respect for the character of the individual and the contributions they make to my community of family and friends.
When Derek calls me Sir, it warms my heart and lifts my spirit like no other term of endearment. Here is a boy as worthy of being a peer as any brother who has voluntarily placed himself in my charge. There is a mutual trust and respect here that allows for great collaboration, shared exploration, individual growth and intense bonding.
Yes, the relationship between a Daddy and his boy is special, but there is something exceptional about the relationship between a boy and his Sir… at least in my experience.
I’m happy to be here this weekend as we celebrate that relationship, the time honored tradition of boot blacking in our community and a renewed focus on making the International Leather Sir/boy and Community Bootblack the players’ titles.
My fellow judges including Alex Dunlop, Woodie Barnes, John Pendal, Ms Kendra, Sir Mike Russell, Queen Cougar, Nikitas Chondroyannos, Mr. Marcus Hernandez, and Master Mike Zuhl (pictured above courtesy of Rich Trove) have a daunting task ahead of us.
Tags: BDSM, Boys, Dragon Clan, Events, ILSb
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7 October 2007 17:34
Dallas, TX — The candid photo taken at the Eagle last Fri proves my boy Derek and I do share the occasional tender moment. We’ve also had the time to visit with old friends (like Joey & Rob from Chi town; “Mama” Reinhardt of San Francisco; and, Mister Marcus) and make new friends (like Mark Frazier the owner of the Dallas Eagle; and, Gloria from Canada).
Coming off our working weekend at Folsom, however, our play has been pretty intense; I’ve been beating him almost non-stop since we arrived and he’s been glowing like the happy, little pain slut he is. The play has been heavy enough, apparently, to raise at least one pair of eyebrows. One of the attendees was overheard talking about how offended they were by the “abusive” nature of our relationship. I’m not surprised by the fact some people don’t get it; this thing of ours isn’t for everyone. I guess it’s a good thing that guy didn’t see our touching goodbyes.
Leaving each other to return to our respective hometowns is always one of the most difficult things Derek and I have to get through. Sometimes I’ll mark the moment by carving my initials in his chest. This time Derek had another idea. He put his mouth guard in and I face punched him dizzy. It was a good headspace for both of us as we left for the airport.
Speaking of which, I need to catch a plane.
Tags: BDSM, Boys, Dragon Clan, GLPW, ILSb, Mama's Family
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6 October 2007 16:31
Dallas, TX - Arrived yesterday and was joined by my boy Derek for the 2008 International Leather Sir/boy and Community Bootblack Contests weekend, primarily to support one of my Brothers, Odie, as he competes for the Leather Sir title.
This particular weekend is a celebration of two things close to my heart: the special nature of Sir/boy relationship; and, the importance of preserving and promoting the bootblacking art. It also gives Derek and I an opportunity to reconnect in an environment that includes many of our friends from around the country. Since we don’t have any official obligations, it’s already been a good chance for us to do our own thing and spend some quality time.
Tags: BDSM, Boys, Dragon Clan, Events, GLPW, ILSb
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by Titan Media
by Titan Media
by Titan Media
by Titan Media
San Francisco, CA –- Enough with all the serious stuff. The weekend hasn’t been all work and no play. As I mentioned in my previous posts, Derek was in from Chicago and we had a lot of fun together. We didn’t have any major scenes but the kind of sustained play throughout the weekend that events like this and the city of San Francisco allows for.
You can imagine my pleasant surprise when I ran into Rico again last night after Derek flew back to Chicago. I had no problem picking up with Rico where we left of the night before (pictures above and left). 
