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Deciding to quit crystal is a huge step. Congratulations! And if the next steps feel really hard or scary, thatís OK. Keep reading Staying Off Speed from Strength Over Speed.


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Stroke Tacoma, WA ÖOopsÖ I had a stroke. Actually, I had a massive stroke, a heart attack and pneumonia. This post will describe what happened, detail when and where it took place, and document how I am dealing with this life changing event.

A blood clot in my spinal cord caused the oxygen going to my upper spinal cord and the base of my brain to be blocked, and some of those cells died. I was out. They call it a cryptogenic stroke, meaning they donít know why it happened. Bottom line: my cognitive skills, balance and vision are diminished. At some point, my heart stopped, or something like that. Iíve been told that my lungs also filled with fluid and I had a surgery to remove part of my left lung. Medical personnel were concerned I might occlude so a feeding tube was emplaced, and I was not allowed to eat orally for months. Once I regained consciousness, I was tied down to my bed. This is primarily because I kept pulling out the tracheotomies medical personnel emplaced. (Hereís a hint: If Iím pulling shit out of my body, it means I donít want it!

StrokeI was at work when it happened. I was Security Lead at the Cuff Complex on Fri 01 Jun 2018 when I informed my boss that I wasnít feeling quite right. He informed the Assistant Manager, Jose. I convulsed or something, and the EMTís were called. I remember giving my consent and them starting an IV. I donít remember much after that for a long time other than not being allowed to eat or drink and being tied to my bed. My thanks go out to everyone who contributed to my recovery. Needing help is part of the human condition. And I needed help. My vison is still fucked up, and I am recovering in other areas.

HOWÖ I am currently recovering at my motherís place in Monroe, Washington. I was a personal trainer in private practice before the stroke, so I have pretty good knowledge of how I should proceed. Iím still physically challenged. Shit just donít work right! Iím currently eating and have shelter thanks to some food stamps and a member of my leather family. I even got laid once. (Thanks Piggy). I am also keeping up on current events and retraining my mind and body.

[Side Note: There is some great educational material under the Crash Course channel on YouTube.]

Recovery and figuring out what Iím going to do next is in order. I feel like Iím starting over. I remember things, and I donít remember things. Physically, my balance is off and my coordination sucks. Iím also over my normal weight range. I need to get my body composition under control; I've developed a plan to address that issue. But, it will take some time. Energy in; energy out. Easy, right? At this point, Iím thankful I can walk, relieve myself, shower on my own and eat without assistance. Things arenít that bad, but I am still working to make them better. My vision is still an open issue, and typing this is difficult. I have options to consider. Iíve been able to fix my phone, but everything takes so much effort. I'm doing a little on the stationary bike six times a week and lifting three. Now that we are not ďsheltered-in-placeĒ I may become more social I also have a balance board I've been using. Once the vision issue is resolved, I can better determine what to do next with my life. Thatís a tough question.

I think Iíll get started with Maslowís hierarchy of needs. First off, the Physiological Needs: Air (check), Water (check). Food (check), Shelter (thanks brother), Clothing (got some) and Reproduction (I think weíll just call it sex).

Anyway, Iíve told you whatís happened, when and where it happened and how Iím dealing with what happened. If I can leave you with anything, it would be this: Just keep going.