Top 10 Reasons to Play in a Leather Bar

12 February 2010 19:12

PSATop 10 Reasons to Play in a Leather BarChicago, IL – Generally, it’s not my practice to respond to bitchy queens and bitter fucks who make nasty, mean-spirited blowhard posts or comments (and I most certainly will not be linking to them here). It seems, however, that some play that my boy Derek da Silva and I engaged in while at our home bar in Seattle has sparked a little debate about playing in public. Apparently, a little rope bondage and chest punching in this leather bar was enough to offend the delicate sensibilities of at least one sensitive former-Marine, who was inclined to post a particularly ignorant and insulting blog entry on the subject, which was in turn picked up by some in the blogosphere prompting a debate. While I refuse to invest any energy on individuals who are motivated to tear others down or to resort to name calling, I do believe that further contribution to the debate is in order. Luckily, my boy Derek has already done the groundwork. I offer for your consideration, the “Top 10 Reasons to Play in a Leather Bar”…

Bitch if you will, but when we are in a leather bar we like to play. Some take issue with this, but they can go fuck themselves. We’re gonna keep on playing when we are out in our spaces. And we want you to do this too.

Here are 10 good reasons why:

  1. Turf. It’s our fucking space. We aren’t gonna be shoved out by people that can’t even be bothered to look the part, let alone play it. It’s SM not S&M, the difference being the “&”. There is no ampersand in Sadomasochism – but there is in Stand & Model.
  2. Advertising works! We’re not just living the life, we’re spreading the lifestyle. Lots of guys are curious about this stuff and fantasize about it. Seeing that others are into this stuff is a huge life changing revelation for lots of guys. Public play validates people’s sexualities and helps them out of the BDSM closet.
  3. 24/7 means 24/7. We live this life all the time. We aren’t going into the closet because we are in a leather bar.
  4. Teach safety. We can show this stuff and when people ask we can show what we do to make this edgy play safer. It’s called leading by example.
  5. It’s safer to play where others are around. Every single BDSM death I know of has occurred behind closed doors.
  6. Exhibitionism is a valid fetish. And thank god cuz the best porn is made by guys that love showing off.
  7. Public Humiliation is a valid fetish. Don’t be ashamed that you like being ashamed.
  8. Voyerism is a valid fetish. Some people whine about show offs, but even they seem to enjoy watching. Hmmm…
  9. We’re topping all you fuckers!! BWAHAHAHA!
  10. Out of the bedrooms and into the leather bars – or else the leather bars die.

You can read Derek’s entire post here for more insight. Please feel free to add your own reasons by posting a comment to this entry or simply add your own play to the atmosphere of your own local Leather bar. And with that all said, I will now return to my regularly scheduled programming of “I don’t give a fuck what they think.”

Category: Best of, PSA.

7 Responses to “Top 10 Reasons to Play in a Leather Bar”

  1. chris Says:

    That’s totally fucked up. The leather bars where I’ve lived can’t even really be called leather bars. Low lighting and shady people don’t make it a leather bar.

    I wish there were more guys that felt comfortable doing these type of things in public. Especially with 2 hot guys like you doing it, I know no one that would complain.

    Please keep leather/bdsm alive.

  2. stephen Says:


    Stand your ground! You hit the nail on the head; Instigator Magazine put out a very similar article that came from (I beleive) the editor of the magazine who said roughly: that we should be visible and own our extreme play- we do some amazing crazy stuff!!! Own it- own your fetish! At the end of the day- it is the community that feeds your soul! It all ties in (no puns) intended!

    Thank you,


  3. Dsqaure Says:

    I agree with your statement. I also caught on to that little “dig’ made towards your critic. That of his being a “former Marine.” Good one!!

  4. fang Says:

    oh to hear Letterman read this fucker out!

    ps: can this slavdog just say how much it liked #9 particularly 🙂


  5. trainer85705 Says:

    And where I live, the leather bars have indeed died. Arizona considers BDSM play to be “sexual activity” and so it’s not allowed in any public spaces. If there are exceptions I’d love to know about them. Play while and where you can, men!

  6. blake Says:

    Asking or demanding no play in a leather bar is like saying no kissing or hand holding in a gay bar. It is the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” of the gay community. Your list has the bullet points to prove these parallels.

    I’ve watched leather bars reach their peak and decline. This is mostly due to bar owners need money to say open. To do this they have to broaden their cliental not narrow it requiring them to always try to reinvent themselves.

    Sadly this pushes a lot of us out. However it should be the opportunity educate, explore and recruit (bad word choice here) our larger men’s community.

    It use to be that we had to go out to meat, greet and entertain “friends”. The internet has ruined that. Now any one can hook up on free sites, get a quick wank by giving up some personal information while staying at home in some chemical induced fantasy away from the safety of reality.

  7. Tom Says:

    Chicago leatherman chiming in here. I fully support you& your partner playing in public. Look, I came out in the 80’s, first in the preppy-clone scene, then the quasi-punk/new-wave scene – again, a clone scene. In both (bar) settings, I never felt like my true self, UNTIL I finally entered my first leather bar (DC Eagle). Here was the first place I could OPENLY indulge my true identity as a sex pig/exhibitionist. I learned how to be proud of being a submissive Daddy’s boy and service openly at the bar, backroom, etc, learning from old school leathermen who showed me the ropes, the bar. I took that experience with me when I moved to Chicago to be with my partner of 10 years. We’ve had an open and honest relationship BECAUSE we learned to accept our sexual hunger at places like leather bars.

    I do have to take exception to your snarky reference to “BIE” being a “former Marine”. There’s no such thing as a “former” Marine – once a Marine, always a Marine. You can piss on the Marine (if he’s flagging yellow), but you can’t piss on his service and sacrifice in honor of our country. Doing that just dampens your argument (pun intended).

    Otherwise, rock on with sex-play and leading in a new generation of SM leathermen.