Seattle, WA – Capturing this thing of ours on screen has become a personal passion that began on the set of Daddy Zeus' Soldiers of Misfortune three years ago; was refined through my involvement with the Folsom series of fetish films produced by TitanMen in conjunction with Folsom Street Fair and benefiting HIV/AIDS charities; and is currently being realized by performing in and co-directing the Rough line with Paul Wilde. I have been truly blessed by opportunities to work with some of the best players in the world and most talented individuals in the industry. Our collaborative efforts together have culminated in scenes with brutal realism and exceptional quality. My heart has been filled by the appreciation expressed by those who have found truth, beauty and inspiration in the films we made. I am humbled to be recognized as the 2010 Grabbys Performer of the Year and to share this distinction in a tie with Adam Killian. For the other 'big' wins of the evening, as well as a video of the Grabbys Best Actor and Performer of the Year presentations posted to YouTube by Jim Liu and the transcript of my acceptance speech...

The first big win came on the red carpet. The custom latex priests' cassock of the Roman Catholic style designed by Tonya Winter of Winter Fetish was well received to say the least. Chi Chi LaRue even called it out on stage later in the evening. Unlike last year, this year I was able to make it through the exchange without making a comment I would have to explain with a five-paragraph essay in the following days. Ms LaRue suggested I might be the best dressed in the house and as I peruse the industry blogs I see there are others who agree thanks to Tonya's artistry. I'm looking forward to spending substantially more time with Chi Chi later this month during Seattle Pride.

The next big winner was my dick, which was awarded the Grabby for Hottest Cock (Cut). I say this tongue-in-cheek, of course. Believe it or not, while I know the business is very cock focused I'm totally content with my dick and haven't sought to fill any need for its validation. As the regular readers of this blog know, I'm still squigged out over the amount of attention my cock sometimes receives. Needless to say, the award brought mixed emotions. It should come as no surprise; I kept my comments brief when accepting the award...

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Wow, I had forgotten I had been nominated in this category. My member is honored, although the rest of me, hopes I will be remembered for the other contributions I've made to the industry.

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My boy Chris Yosef, who appeared in the first Rough feature, Fist and Piss; our pup Element who first appeared in the second Rough feature Shock Treatment and has gone on the perform in several other movies; Derek da Silva who has a list of credits even longer than my own; and I had the honor of presenting the Grabbys for Best Ethnic film and Best Art Direction. Blackballed 7 from Channel 1 Releasing won the Grabby for Best Ethinic, and Asylum from Falcon won for Best Art Direction. Since the pup was in Blackballed 7, Chi Chi asked him to accept the award should the movie win. He called the other members of the cast up to receive the award as a group and did a wonderful job on stage. We are all very proud of him.

Folsom Flesh won the Grabby for Best Fetish Film. This is the third consecutive year I have been in the cast of the feature that took home the Grabby for Best Fetish Film, and, I believe, the fourth year in a row that a movie in the Folsom series has won the category for the studio and director Brian Mills with Folsom Filth in 2007, Fear in 2008, Folsom Prison in 2009 and now Folsom Flesh.

By far the biggest shocker of the evening, at least for me personally, came toward the end of the night. As I've said in my previous blog post, I was surprised by my nomination for Performer of the Year. To be among those whom the Grabbys consider to be the most notable performers of the past year in gay male erotica is a humbling acknowledgment in and of itself, and I was thankful for the attention the Grabbys brought to my efforts in the industry, especially within the fetish and BDSM genres. I was thrilled by the nod, appreciative for the recognition and completely floored when my name was called after Adam Killian's in a tie for Performer of the Year. I made the following extemporaneous remarks as I accepted the award...

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This is kind of a shock. As a fetish performer, I really don't expect this kind of recognition, but I guess fetish has come a long way in a very short period of time. I want to thank Fred Halsted for capturing it the first time in 1970. I want to thank Christopher Rage for doing it in the '80s and Daddy Zeus for doing it in the '90s. I want to thank Titan Media and Bruce Cam for giving me the opportunity to capture it now. The Folsom/Titan line of movies was a great opportunity, and now I've be able to direct a little bit as well as perform with the Rough line. I'm incredibly thankful for being able to do that with my co-director Paul Wilde and the great production team at Titan. And I also want to thank every performer I have ever performed with in these scenes because the connection that was there is why it works.

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My involvement in the adult film industry has been a conscious representation of a community of family and friends that is defined by our fetish/Sm play and an extension of my activism and educational efforts within that community. I believe that what we do is more than 'just porn'. The work we do documents the radical sexuality that is at the heart of our queer liberation. It sparks our sexual imaginations, confronts social mores and presents new constructs with which we can use to frame our lives. It engages us in ways that not only get us off physically but mentally and emotionally as well. As such, it becomes an artistic endeavor.

I started my participation in this endeavor with the works of Halsted, Rage and Zeus in mind and have been blessed by my partnership with Titan Media. At Titan, I have had the opportunity to collaborate with an extraordinary creative team that includes some of the most dedicated and talented individuals I have ever known and a studio that shares my values. From the production crew that supports and captures the action on set, through an editing team that masterfully enhances the beauty and integrity of each scene, to a marketing department that ensures the final product actually gets seen, I will always be grateful for the part Titan has played in bringing my vision to fruition.

Of course, all of that wouldn't amount to much if the connection with my scene partners didn't resonate with the viewers. In 2009 I was paired with scene partners with whom I share deep, strong and lasting connections. In Fist and Piss my boy of eight years, Chris Yosef, and I shared a scene that for me captures the essence of fisting. In Shock Treatment I paid homage to one of my mentors in a scene with my pup, Element, and displayed the intensity that is Sm with my boy at the time, Derek da Silva. And in Bound and Beaten, David Anthony and I tag team Rico, a long time play partner of mine. I also had the fortunate opportunity to connect on set with players like Will Parker (Folsom Flesh), Colton Steele (Triage), Alessio Romero (Bound and Beaten), Adam Knox (Folsom Maneuvers) and JR Matthews (Battle Creek Breakdown) in ways that allowed for a palpable engagement on screen. I can't thank each of you enough.

I also want to thank the Grabbys for continuing to support the fetish community by sponsoring categories for this thing of ours and for providing a weekend of events that allows the community to celebrate in many inclusive venues.

I will leave all of you who might want to see me get a little faklempt with a clip from the awards show uploaded to YouTube by Jim Liu...